It is English football’s Clásico, Klassiker, Classique. The north-west classic, if you will. Use flat vowels. The TV companies are revving up the performance poets, fizzing pints of lager to denote working-class roots are being artfully placed on unpolished pub tables, regional accents exaggerated as the hype machine revs up. The latest renewal of Liverpool v Manchester United finds the historic rivals in less than classic form. That United are playing like a drain is a state of being near-permanent since the year 2013 when twerking was a dance craze, phablets were a must have and “live blog” entered the Oxford English Dictionary (whatever happened to those? – Football Daily Ed). It has been Liverpool riding a rising tide since then.
Until now. Yes, after losing three matches in succession, Arne Slot’s champions have entered the realm of the essence of crisis club, their manager veering dangerously into bald fraud territory. Liverpool fans find themselves scrolling longingly through Jürgen Klopp’s InstaChat account, pawing at pics of their former manager enjoying games of padel with Gabriela Sabatini. They might be inconsolable by the time Klopp’s social media afterlife continues with his appearance on LinkedIn deity Steve Bartlett’s Diary of a CEO podcast, dropping later this month. The Mersey will overflow with salty tears as the German shares tales of high performance, disruption, big data, synergy and metrics while laughing like a hyena watching You’ve Been Framed.
Liverpool, a full point behind champions-elect Arsenal, desperately need a win to stay in this season’s title race. Or else, the status of what Roy Keane labelled Klopp’s 2020 title winners – “bad champions” – will descend. They must do it without Alisson, the goalkeeper so important to Klopp, who has succumbed to his latest bout of hamstring-twang. Step up, Giorgi Mamardashvili, who excelled in last weekend’s Geopolitics World Cup game against Italy, saving a penalty before – oh lordy – a howler in Georgia’s 4-1 pumping in Turkey. United are likely to field their own greenhorn goalie, and with zero Belgian caps so far, compared to Mamardashvili’s 33, Senne Lammens is far more of a rookie thrown into a cauldron that has consumed a few decent keepers over the years.
Both David James and Brad Friedel heard the “dodgy keeper” chants ringing after 1990s horror shows against United. Massimo Taibi is notorious as a Sir Alex Ferguson flop but that followed him using up nine lives in a match-winning display at Anfield in 1999. Po’ David de Gea watched seven goals fly past him in 2023. There’s also Alexander Isak, following up a summer of transfer mither by being Sean Dundee reincarnate. Florian Wirtz has descended from Deutscher fußballmeister to desperate waste of Euros. And let’s not get started on Milos Kerkez and Jeremie Frimpong. Meanwhile, United spent £200m on Matheus Cunha, Bryan Mbeumo and Benjamin Sesko for a meagre return of three goals and one Premier League assist so far. Transfers, who’d have ‘em? To quote Chuck D, don’t believe the hype. Though it probably ends up a 5-5 classic.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I guess I just don’t fit. Not here [at Forest], just in general. If you look at it through the prism that I’m a failed manager and I’m lucky to get this job – and I can find the print where that’s said – then of course this first five weeks looks like ‘wow, this guy’s under pressure’. Of course there’s an alternative story you can look at. I came into the Premier League two years ago, I took over ‘Spursy’ Tottenham and I was told by the [chief suit] that the club has to win a trophy. We finished fifth in my first year, but somehow that year has disappeared from the record books – the first 10 games were an anomaly apparently, whereas the first 10 games here are very important” – just a small portion of Ange Postecoglou’s flamin’ four-minute diatribe aimed at salivating hacks before his Nottingham Forest side host Chelsea.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
What game play is actually happening in David Bell’s Sensible Soccer screengrab [yesterday’s letters]? An Arsenal player simulating death in the penalty area? In complete isolation? In the 46th minute? What drama!” – Alun Williams.
Congratulations on England beating the 137th-best team in the world and managing to qualify for the World Cup alongside only 47 other teams. It sounds like it’s just the right time for some overblown England hype. Ah yes, here we are, with England having its best chance to win the World Cup since 1970, just like in 1986, 1998, 2018 and 2022. One day, we will stop jumping on the England hype train at the earliest possible opportunity. However, today is not that day” – Noble Francis.
Re: Thursday’s Daily – I know that it may run contrary to the thrust of the article but I’m sorry, calling Jack Grealish’s winner against Crystal Palace ‘fluked’ is simply ludicrous” – Stuart Ainsworth [judge for yourselves – Football Daily Ed].
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Alun Williams. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we have them, are here.
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